This past week passed by with the usual endless Provence blue skies, weather in the 30s and plenty of sunshine. It included many beautiful miles on the bike and even a birthday dinner with friends.
View toward Ventoux from Mormoiron.
For the first time in ages, Jason wasn’t able to be here on my birthday which was not remotely ideal. But this year, maybe more than ever, I probably needed to be alone and spend some time thinking about my mom. It was an emotional day, but beautiful in its own way. It ended with friends, dinner of pizza and bubbles, and even a birthday cake complete with candles. I haven’t had a birthday like that in ages. It suits me not to make a big deal out of my birthday. Normally Jay and I pick a beautiful route to cycle, have a crisp, cold beer and pizza after. Then hit the pool, relax and settle in for a homemade dinner with an excellent bottle of wine. I have had the good fortune of being here, in Provence, for well over a decade on this day, and just being here, sharing a glorious day with Jay is celebration enough.
It wasn’t surprising things went slightly off course this year; 2020 has been a gong show of endless hiccups, stresses, heartbreaks and anxieties. So why would my birthday be exempt from this general rule? But one very happy and serendipitous thing did happen—I became an official European citizen. My passport arrived. It wasn’t due for another month or two, but somehow, someway, it arrived on my birthday. It brought me to tears. I have been working on this for two and a half years. It’s finally done. I can live and work anywhere in the 27 EU countries. My world and its borders just expanded exponentially.
But now what? That is the million-dollar question. It’s not easy to build a new life, live somewhere totally different and still make a living. It’s not as if I am independently wealthy and can just hang out somewhere. Even when I am here, I continue my work for my clients in Canada. But is that enough? Can that work?
So many questions, so few answers. Many of my good friends (several of whom happen to be psychologists, which is kind of strange don’t you think? I must need them in my life!) have told me to just stop and be. Let this terrible year wash over me, soak up the beauty of this place and appreciate every moment. And when it’s time, I’ll figure it out. I like this idea though my guilt and work ethic struggle with it. But maybe they are right. Maybe it will all just work out in the end, one way or the other. Fingers crossed.
Beaumes-de-Venise vineyards.
